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Large himself in action
Ahharrgghhh me hearties......
It be aye.....
Pirate Large.....
It be stardate 205.36.2 when we were loiterin in the Solo system lookin for
prey, when me look out shouted, "cappan there be a RIP freighter Flat Fish
(63075) off the starboard quarter", ahharrgghh me likes to see me old chums
from way back, boarders be ready, we be goin in.
We approached the ship, and got frough the ulls aye, and were met by 50 RIP
crew and some vet marines, so it took some getting into the hatch, but after
a couple of rounds the ol boys decided they preferred to be pirates again an
handed the ship over all easy like.
Well I was well chuffed, an picked out the best 2 lookin birds garr...an
there be plenty among this lot aye..and ordered them strapped over me
barrels in me quarters. I likes to look out o me porthole's when I be
scuttling me women, I spat on the cracks, to get them oiled up for me
weapon, and was pumpin away for a bit, an I be on me vinegar strokes, when
a fleet o SMS warships went floating by, well that made me nuts temporarily
go back in, and we sounded general quarters....sirens were goin and were
readying our selves, when they floated straight past our ship an headed for
our newly captured vessel and blew it to pieces of 8. garrr bugger....that
means ill have to stick wi these 2 beauties to shag for a week, as the
others were blown up aye.....
Anyways we mades our escape, which could o been nastier than a dose o
scurvy, as half the universe were lookin for good ole large, but they missed
me ahharrgghh.
Then o'er me comms channel I gets the following message from the SMS fleet
commander.
"You were very lucky Mr Large, next time you will not be so lucky - your
arse will be mine. I will arrange for you to be put in the stocks for all
to see and for all the families of those you have butchered and split in
two. The stocks won't be facing forward though......."
Well, I looks at it slightly different aye, than yee does, I reckon you as
missed out on the best shag o your life mr baltazar, an I as missed out on
shagging the biggest arsehole o my life....ahharrgghh.
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the
pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh....
CIA gets a bit of Hooker treatment
Ahharrgghhh me hearties......
It be aye.....
Pirate Large.....
Now me favourite lass Cappan Hooker as sent in another report....
"intercom crackle"
Ahharrggghhh there Large, It be aye...Cappan Hooker, I can reports that I
as captured another vessel on stardate 205.35.5, one o me lasses spotted the
CIA vessel Maxilla (16562), 100 light hulls she be, in the Ridley system.
We got our selves lubed up, and in the leathers ready to get through the
ulls of the freighter, on board the freighter was 130 souls, 100 o which
were mercenaries, so we ads a plan, we all whipped our tits out, an screamed
in through the ship, this caught the first wave completely by surprise, an
we soon got into the first 20% o the ship, we then came up against the poofs
of the CIA crew, so we flopped our tits back in and sliced through the queer
crew, and took their ghoulies off as prizes, we figured they be no good on
men that don't shags the lasses.
This castration action seemed to affect the rest an after 3 rounds we tooks
the ship an captured quite a few prisoners, not only that 67 o the good
looking crew converted to our cause as paid mercs. So we all had a good time
getting our canals filled ahharrgghhhh......
One thing to note large is the amount o puffs there be in the CIA, on
capturing the vessel, 19 of the mercs jumped o board rather than have many a
day o glorious sex with cappan hooker an her crew..garrr....
"intercom crackle"
Ahharrgghh me lass be getting good, she be the sort o lass close to me hart,
she likes loads o sex and doesn't try an get to close likes, when I were a
young en, me ol man says don't get involved wi just one bird, well I did, as
you do, an I was away on pirate trainin, when me gal wrote to me sayin the
engagement was off an she wanted her photo back.
well I was pretty upset aye, so I collected from me mates, all the unwanted
photo's o gals they didne want, bundled them all together, wiv a note sayin.
"I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please
keep your photo and return the others."
Ahhhaarrgghhh...
Now I as tooks me ol mans advice and spreads me meat around as quite a few
of yee knows...
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the
pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh....
FGZ Vessel captured
Ahharrgghhh me hearties......
It be aye.....
Pirate Large.....
It be stardate 205.35.4 when we be back in yank lookin for bait, an found it
we did aye, the FGZ vessel X-P'Rogu (74198) was lurkin off the starboard
she be, an not ready for one o me boys....
The vessels hulls was easy to penetrate, and we enters the ship lookin for
the defenders, we was told to be prepared for life forms wiv a nice pair,
but we was mislead, when we was confronted by naplian crew and a FGZ
commander who looked likes one. No tits in sight garrr....well it didn't
take long before they all decided to gives in and the ship be
mine...ahharrgghhhhh.
Well yee knows what us pirates as to do and as it appens we does have some
naplian and Flagritz pirates so they were given the usual treatment by some
o them. But I tell yee a story from me child hoods like, when me and 5 o me
boys and 1 good lookin lass were stranded on this moon when me ship took a
bit o a nose dive, we tooks shelter in an abandoned outpost and were there
for several months, we all cames to a deal, we all shagged the bird on a day
each, and cos I be the leader and packing the sort of tackle that's usually
on a grand national winner, I gets 2 days a week.
Well after 2 months the gal died, and we didn't know what we would do...
After the 1st day it were ok,
The 2nd day me boys were getting a bit upset
The 3rd day they were havin problems an startin to feel nauseous....
So on the 4th day I said enoughs, enough, and I decided to bury
her..ahhaarrgghhh
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the
pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh....
KAS freighter captured
Ahharrgghhh me hearties......
It be aye.....
Pirate Large.....
It be stardate 205.34.5 when me look outs spotted the KAS vessel Saviour
(84410), a 50 light hulled she be....and not prepared for thee, Large.
This vessel be Kastorian, and me havin so many sex slaves, I thought id let
some o me kastorian boys get their end away when we takes the ship.
My vessel crept through Yank avoidin the KAS 125 HH patrol ship, gar it be
good when yee sneaks up on some one, an takes em from behind aye..well we
gots into the ship in no times at all, an me boarding party consistin of 80
kastorian mercs were lookin forward aye, to talking nicely to the crew of
the saviour and getting them to hands over the ship peacefully like, you
know we be carin, and don't likes to see bloodshed....well when we gets on
board they all be human..whaaaarrrhhhh, time to get me weapon out.....
I uncoils the beast aye, and lets the first one get an eye full, and the
recoil was so bad it blew the bridge out aye
Civilian Damage: 1 Bridge (100) (cause Large's explosion)
Well it only took another round o combat, as the defendin crew couldn't
match the quantity of my weapons load, an decided to take whats comin, an
surrender aye..and by eck can some of em take it ahharrggghhh
I be hopin that one day the Yank boys don't spots me and gives me that big
weapon they supposedly aves, although I see's from last weeks SSS that the
biggest pirates in yank be the CNF, as I don't even as a bounty on me
garrrr...
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the
pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh....
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