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My Diary, Molly Smith, aged 26 and a half
Stardate 204.36.1
I dunno', life is so boring. When I were a lass I used to dream of a bright
future in the stars.and here I am, in the Dewiek and Duck Pub as
barmaid/toilet cleaner. That bright future seems a far distance from here at
Rubis. If I'm not having to slap frisky humans for taking liberties, or
having to rub Dewiek noses in their mess, I seem to be having to clear up
Flagritz ooze as they slither around the bar thinking they're the True One's
Gift to the Universe.
Stardate 204.48.2
I wish those bloody Falconians would stop bringing their kids into the pub.
I mean.a "family atmosphere" is all very well, but theres only so much you
can put up with cleaning up after they regurgitate all their food
everywhere.
Stardate 205.10.2
Well.I appear to have had a bit of a career change. There I was mopping up
crap , when this fella approaches me. Dead dashing he was, called himself
'Large'..I said 'oh yeah - that's what they all say'. .he just gave me a
dashing smile, and a good rogering in toilet. Good job I'd cleaned up the
Wimble crap half hour earlier, otherwise it'd have been a real dampener.so
to speak. I was really impressed with him anyhow, 'cos he had this massive
wooden peg..sent me all a flutter.
Anyhow, there I was having the best two and half minutes of me life when he
says.."I can see you're good with me wooden peg, and I likes a good scrubber
- forget this life and come with me for a life of adventure 'n frolics".
Well I thought..it's got to beat this humdrum life.so I'm off - MY DESTINY
AWAITS!
Stardate 205.10.4
Mopped floors. Cooked for hundreds. Served Grog. Cleaned toilets.hmmmm
Stardate 205.20.2
Well..I've had enough of mopping and cooking, so I approached Large and
asked for a transfer to another ship. He said he knew a chap who'd look
after me. So I'm transferring to the Knotted Heart - and I can once again
get my life back on track and look forward to the future!
Stardate 205.20.3
Mopped floors. Cooked for hundreds.Served Grog. Cleaned toilets.did get a
good rogering from the crew though as my 'initiation ceremony'
Stardate 205.28.1
Well, there I was cleaning the Evacupooper T, when all of a sudden there was
a commotion..now normally that means a load of mess to clean up, but this
time it was a ship sighting the DTR Angel Face. The boys on the Heart seem
quite excited..I think I might get some tonight.
Stardate 205.28.2
Oooh it was all action stations today. The Captain comes up to me and says
'Molly, I've seen how you handle some of the boys - you're joining the
boarding party'..well I was flabbergasted, I'd not done that kind of thing
before. Anyhow, I came from me bunk only to see everyone else had a
cutlass.well I didn't think to pack mine when we shipped out, so I had to
grab me 'Black Mamba'.I got a few looks, but I couln't go empty hand could
I?
Anyhow.it was quite tense as we waited at the hatch. The Knotted Heart made
all kinds of creaking noises as it closed in on and finally caught the Angel
Face. And then it was all a bit frantic A few explosive charges, and we're
steaming into the Caravel and charging the defenders. I saw "Lefty"
Jones snuff it. Now I didn't think I was sentimental, but he was a good
shag, and thats a criminal waste. Anyhow.I kind of saw a bit of a red mist
and much of what happened was a blur to me. It was only after when I was
talking to "No Good" Pete that it turns out that I went on the warpath and
clobbered someone with me Black Mamba. He got the full 12 inches and it
apparently made such a mess of his head that it caused half the Detinus
peeps to chuck up. They gave up not long after. The Captain was dead proud
of me.gave me the order of the Parrot, and said I could have the pick of the
prisoners. He seemed very pleased with the bounty we took, although rumour
is that it isn't grog. Anyhow, must go.I've got a couple of prisoners to get
through
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the
pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh....
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