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Ahharrgggghhhhh me hearties..........
It Be Aye..........
Pirate Large...........
Freedom City be attacked...........
whats i likes to call "Shock and Whore"
for the RIP, it be a shock, an i be after the whores.
anyways over the easter festivities for you boys, me lads be loadin up in the carriers n tanks, waiting for the orders, to drop an attack. over 12000 of us there be, waitin cutlass in one hand sex toys in the other, for what would be a historical week aye.
Rape n pillage on a scale never yet seen, early estimates were, that there be more than 25000 civies workin at freedom city, and plenty of active pussy for everyone.
anyways on stardate 207.15.1 we got out selves into the base and started to attack, me boys put on thee mean faces n stormed forward into the buildings and streets aye, great it be with tank support, knockin the enemy back heavily into their own base aye.
in the first 2 days we tooks more than 50% an was well on our ways to victory. anyways the RIP during the last 2 days o battle fought hard an with a bit of a mudlion rampage which temporarily halted a few lacklustre elements o me men they managed to holds on for a further 2 rounds they did.
im sure i saw spugman duckin n divin in the streets there, rifle in one hand, cash tin in the other.
Anyways on entering the outskirts o the city, at least 10 miles from Freedom City, bein thirsty one o me men after days o fighting, starving, desperate for drink etc knocks on this ere door. A Chinese man answers, an me pirate says to him, looks mate I is thirsty, hungry and is desperate. The Chinese man says he will let him in, if he swears not to shag his daughter.
The pirate agrees, thinking, this be RIP territory, there be no good lookin women rounds ere.
The Chinese man says, if you do shag me daughter, you will get the 3 worse Chinese tortures.
That night at the dinner table, the daughter arrives, an the pirate he be gobsmacked, a beautiful specimen she be. She passes the pirate a note to meet her in the room at midnight. He went to the room an ad the best sex of his life.
The next morning when he wakes up theres a huge rock next to him, it had a note on the front saying 1st worse Chinese torture. In a panic, the pirate got old o the rock and chucks it out of the bedroom window.
Just then he saw a note on the window sill saying, 2nd worst Chinese torture, left testicle tied to rock.
Knowing this he jumped out the window after the rock.
Whilst falling he got close enough to the rock to read, 3rd worse Chinese torture, right testicle tied to bedpost….ahharrggghhh..
Yes, that be the best I can do this time folks……….
Anyways a brief note at this stage more news to follow……….
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
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