|
2700 shags captured in one go
Ahharrgghhh me hearties………………
It be aye………..
Pirate Large……………
It be stardate 206.4.3 when me look outs spotted a MOH fleet off to the aft, me is always excited when young farmers come passing by, especially them lasses, wiv thee low cut tops, garrr…….now me knob be twitching…..
Now we trys to go for 2 out o the 4 ships as we be greedy, an on the first boarding attempt, me boys nearly got all the ship 90% we gots, then the battle finished, as we had a union rep on board, so they downed tools and walked out o the ship. Garrr, I fookin sliced the nuts o that bloke, so I gets up along side o the ship Mohuu Jynaar (94601) an started boarding the ship, this time me boys weren’t working short hours, an they soon started crackin the naplian crewmen defendin the ship. Well me boys tooks the ship, an we started to look for the booty.
Well one o me men likes, he comes in sayin Large Large, there be real treasure on this ere ship, ooh I says, gold, NO, Coins, NO, it be women cappan, 2700 civilians on board this ere ship waitin to be repopulated…….GARRRR……….well I can helps out there and double that lot aharrgghhh……….
Now it be a week an a bit reporting this takes, cos that be a lot o gals to get through, but I as done the deed, an shagged me way through as many, as nuts could take………..wiv the amount o birds I as impregnated over the last 2 years, an now the last few days, our piratin fraternity should be going for decades to come……I just hopes the Child Support Lawyers don’t catch up wiv me ahhaarrrhh………
Any hows we as had 2 o our crewman gets married this ere week. But they be special, during a frenzied boarding operation, “No knickers Kate” and “Dodgy Dave” copped a packet, and lost their ears in a freak, blade swishin eposiode.
Well they gots married this ere week, an they both speaks the sign lingo, During this first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, “No knickers Kate” decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time." ”Dodgy Dave” thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time." "If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times."
Ahhaarrggghhhhh…………….
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
ARCHIE GETS A BEATING
Ahharrgghhh me hearties………………
It be aye………..
Pirate Large……………
It be stardate 206.3.3 when I my self tooks up the challenge o me ol mate Archie Angel an wen in against the AFT Khnumhotep (34904)
Well suffice to say we soon started mashin the heads o the crewmen on board and tooks the ship, a quick fight it be aye, an the cappan o the AFT ship Simon Goodhead, well lets just say he lived upto is name aye he did…………
That be anuver 100 huller from me ole mate, and the AFT, but it not be for sale, as it were sold very quick aye………….to a willin bidder………
Anyways ill move onto me life again as I does, I recently went to see me old man in the retirement ome, I as told you a story about im before, he as recently been getting on well wiv one of the other female inmates, an he was telling me……
She be very active sexually, an we wen into this broom cupboard outta the way o the wardens like, an she started to undress when she says…….. ”i must warn you Mr Large SNR, that my doctor says I as acute Angina” ………..when me old man says
“that’s good news cos you got the ugliest tits ive ever seen”
Ahhaarrggghhhhh…………….
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
FET LOSE A SHIP
Ahharrgghhhh me hearties………….
It be aye………
Pirate Large…………..
Well it be a while since I as put pen to paper, I had to get me kiddies some prossies over the festive period, only after I dids that, and delivered them down the chiney, me missus said she asked for some pressies…………garr, well me lads enjoyed it ahharrgghh………
Well I gets me ship ready as we as spotted an FET 100 huller off the starboard quarter, we gets the boarding party ready an approaches the ship, with no trouble at all we gets on board, engages the 60 crewmen on board.
Well I as read recently, that the FET has dis affiliated itself and is trying to get out of a war, the cowards, an here I was finkin they lived on the edge, well I can assure thee, that this FET bird be livin on the edge, on the edge o me sword, an she be strugglin to takes it, it be amazing ow much a coward squeals garrr……………..
Also recently I as erd that the DEN gel, a good lucker she be, wants a piece o me, well I as a big piece here if yee wants it, an she as laid down a challenge, I as only took 1 DEN ship, but it not be ers, ill keep an extra special look out for thee.
This reminds me o me time I wents to a whore house and tells the front desk person that i wants something different...something weird!
She sends me up to the 3rd floor to see Lisa. I knocks on the door and this beautiful 6 ft. tall red-head answers the door.
I says I is sorry and that i must have the wrong room (she`s much too beautiful!!!) She assures me that i has come to the right place. She instructs me to take off my clothes and she will be right back.
When she enters the room a few moments later she is naked and very beautiful!!
I tells her that I is looking for something different and she looks perfect. What could you possibly do different? I asks.
So she removes her false eye and tells him to stick it there. I is very apprehensive at first but she assures me that she has sex thousands of times that way and that it will be the best sex I as ever had!!!
So, I sticks me dick in her eye and proceeds to have some o the best sex of me life. When I is done I tells her that it indeed was great sex and could i visit her again when i is back in town.
Her response? "Sure, I`ll keep an eye out for you!!"
Ahhhaarrgghhhh……………………..
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
|