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Ahharrgghhhh me hearties………….
It be aye………
Pirate Large…………..
Well it be a busy couple o weeks an we as been in action, ill tell yee all in this one ere letter.
On stardate 206.41.3 ,me boys spotted the FET 100 huller MB White Dragon
(3923) in the Blagard system, on enterin the ship we thoughts we might have to pull out the stops, as 254 defendin personell there be a lot o mashin for me. Luckily we be at full strenf, an 500+ pirates wen in hackin an a slashin, garrr, this be likes the good ole days o mass slaughter, wen there be plenty o young wenches knickers a drippin waitin for large to penetrate their hulls, lovely. Anywas after 30 or so skulls be cracked, we ripped their heads off and threw up at the remaining crew an they gives in to the pirates, me ole ship 1118 did the business on this occasion aye she did. Plenty of action, fresh minge to be ad, an a new cappan for me stocks.
On stardate 206.41.1 me boys spotted an SMS 100 huller Great Lakes Eight loiterin on its own, an the Loved and lost were sent in to try an boards the ship. Now someone wen an told new boy Jim that we be goin to get a ship off a one armed bandit, and he wen into battle with a bag full o coins, the stupid tosser, thinking it must be likes las vegas or some fing, but we be on abouts that hurceron feller. The battle was swift an the crews gives in as well as the cappan Vernon Littlewood. Now that man will know what 6 months real service means. His arse ole will be severaly puckered by the end of his shift in the stocks. Anyways the ship be empty which be a shame, but that be piratin.
On stardate 206.42.2 we spotted 3 targets, 1 a RIP ship, 1 a DTR ship, and an AFT ship. Some o the old ships not be upto modern day piratin so they as been kept back for easier targets, but with so much action aye, I decides “he who dares wins” an wen for all 3. I being in the bigger ship tooks on the heavier escorted ship, and the Loved and Lost, and Bigger than average wen after the others.
Well I arrived in Straddle on cue to takes the AFT 100 huller Strange Light (53189), but I had to get pas the escorts first, several firing there be, but not a match for thee, I tooks some damage on the approach run but got through the 4 rounds and started the boardin. Anyways the boarding be one sided an we tooks the ship no problem. The AFT usually as some dishy cappans but none be on board this ship, an me sex life looks to not be good as only
2 crewman be left on the ship.
The Loved an lost wen after the RIP ship, but she be short on Marines an although could have taken the ship, this be due to a recent DTR trap that took out a shed load o me men, but not the ship. So we wen away empty handed
The third hit were again the DTR freighter Confetti, unfortunately this unarmoured and old boarder not have upto date stuff an were unable to stop the incoming missiles from the DTR warship escorting, and blew up just as we had got through the 4 rounds o combat, all hands be lost in this attempt aye, an me boys be raisin a glass o rum for the cappan o the Bigger than Average (610), a successful one in the past, taken many a ship aye he as.
The DTR cappans we has in stocks certainly took a few pounds a meat that night I can tell yee.
I as also received a good report aye I as, that me cluster franchise as taken anuvver ship, he be sendin me a story to tell yee in the near future.
Anyways I knows you wan one o me stories an after all this capturing there as been plenny o sex to be ad, hundreds o prisoners aye there be, not just for me, I ad 3 crew lasses in me quarters, which as yee know I as all me sex equipment, when I noticed a cum stain on me wall. I says to the gals what the fook, as some one been at it in me quarters.
Well the Brunette she looks at it an says, yes cappan that looks like a cum stain
The Redhed she leans over likes an smells the stain an says yes cappan that smella like a cum stain
The blonde bends over an licks the stain, an says yes cappan I can confirm that be a cumstain, but it not be anyone from this ship ahharrgghhhh………………must a been one o them cappans liking the rear gunner action, them SMS be likes that you know………..
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
Cluster Franchise
me Cluster Franchise report as promised, well done to yee boys an gals........
“You, yes you – the one with the two buck teeth – patch me through to Large: I’ve got a report to submit. Actually give me a few seconds, because you know he insists I ‘talks likes a propa’ pirate oughta’ ”
“La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Ah, Arhh, Arrhhh, Arrghhhh, Arrrgghh, Arrrghhh, Aaarghhhh… Aaaargghh, that be better
“Ahaaarrrgghhh - Cap’n Large, I hears on thy grapevine that thee has been a busy bunny, well I brings thee some good news from thy Cluster Franchise.
On stardate 206.42.2 a spotter, came across a FEL Panther Class freighter, this info be patched through to I, by secure commlink. So we got ourselves shipshape, and steamed in for action.
Well it seems like I may has to look at getting our spotters fitted up with better sensors, as it seems the Speed of Karlosse had itself an escort – the Pride of Karlosse. Now I ‘as to admit, I don’t even know what size this ship was, never mind what class it be – the first we knew it were around was as a volley of missiles came in. Well I shivered me timbers at first, but soon got a grip. I guess it be a mixture of good fortune, some rather neat maneuvers – even if I does say so meself – and some find ‘andling of the gatling lasers, as of the four volleys – each o’24 missiles mind – that came in, not a one hit. Here be an extract from the battle log;
Incoming Fire from FEL Pride of Karlosse (12817) ------------------------------------------------
Round 1: 24 Missile Launchers (Missile)
- 0 hit - 0 [0] damage - 50%
- Point Defence shot down 9 Missiles
Round 2: 24 Missile Launchers (Missile)
- 0 hit - 0 [0] damage - 50%
- Point Defence shot down 9 Missiles
Round 3: 24 Missile Launchers (Missile
- 0 hit - 0 [0] damage - 50%
- Point Defence shot down 15 Missiles
Round 4: 24 Missile Launchers (Missile)
- 0 hit - 0 [0] damage - 50%
- Point Defence shot down 11 Missiles
“So, there we be, with the Pride of Karlosse out of the picture, we successfully latches on to the Speed of Karlosse, where there be 10 Feline crew, and 100 Feline mercenaries. Well, after just a couple'a'rounds, most of the mercs be impressed by the piratin’ way and switches sides. I says most, because I were later informed thus
After the starbase was taken the following left:
14 Feline Mercenaries (536)- not exactly sure where they went to, but you knows what these mercs are like for thinkin’ they can just walk out of the nearest hatch, for a smoke.
Better news this time, as this ship has itself a bit of cargo. Indeed as you know, I ‘as a large number of Felini lads working for me so they were pleased as punch to find a batch of artworks from the Felini homeworld.
There also be some proper piratin’ treasure too - jewellery. Now I knows’that in this day an age of Falconian Wool, that jewellery is not exactly the most sought after commodity, but there be something about it that feels right - and as many a wench has said, it’ll go nice in the treasure box - ahaargghhh!
As I says, 84 of the mercs also joined the cause - though this means there be less prisoners to go round. I daresay I’ll have first goes with the Felini Officer captured, just as soon as he/she (one never can tell) has been checked for fur balls and fleas. Who knows, if I dig around in my new treasure box I may just find a nice little collar…
Reports suggest that it be away from the combat zone, so it looks like thee will soon see an expanded Cluster Franchise…and on that note, I’ll sign off
Annuver busy week
Ahharrgghhhh me hearties………….
It be aye………
Pirate Large…………..
Well I be sendin me reports aye I be for yee to see about me exploits aye……
It be stardate 206.44.4 when me lookouts spotted the DOM ship Courage Under Fire (86925) loiterin in the Capellan system, me boys wen into action an came alongside the vessel to board it aye she did. 60 men on board there be, not a match for thee.
After a short exchange of fire me bows split through the men n women o the ship an tooks it.
We asn had many DOM ships so I looks frew the crew and sees this bootiful Scandinavian looking, blonde, big titted beauty, I tooks her back to me quarters, an she be impressed wiv me operations.Things progressed to the point where we started to makes love, after a pleasant 10 minutes I pumps me load into her, rolled off and says to her “So……you finish”
She paused for a second, frowned and replied “No”
I thoughts Bagger, I isn avin me reputation tarnished, I rolled back on, an proceeded for another 15 minutes wiv me sex moves aye……this time she thrashes about wildly and there were screams o passion, I squirts me juice inside here again……..
I rolled off again, puffin n pantin, smiled to her and said confidently “OK, Now you Finish”
Once again, after a short pause, she cuddles upto me and whispers in me ear “No”
Stunned by this, and damned if a woman is going to outlast the great Large, an usin my last strength, I gets back onto her, shafting heavily for 20 minutes, and simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping sheets we both come……
I rolls off exhausted, smiling proudly that I as done a good job, looks into her eyes and says “Now you Finish”
“NO” She shouts back “I Swedish”………………………Garrrrrrr bugger………
Anyways after that I needed a days rest for me knob swellin to reduce a bit, an yee all know if my knob swells it be big, when I gets a report there be a 100 light hulled AFT ship loiterin in ring 10 o Yank, the Dragonfly II(1775) were engaged on 206.45.1 by one o me boys an the AFT crewman an officer on board jacks in very quickly indeed. The sight o me swollen sword being beemed on the side o the ship as punishment for anyone who puts up a fight soon made em gives in, an the ship be mine. Another cappan for me prison cells.
Me newly acquired ship ad some cargo for sellin, an we gots her out no trouble.
I is also getting reports that me favourite pirate Gal Cappan Hooker as been in Action in the London system, a CIA ship Hauler Alpha as been spotted, 50 hulls she be, an the 52 crewman on board be lucky beggers. It as been months since Hooker as caught some prisoners, an I as heard she as killed 2 already wiv er vigerous love making, an brokes their necks wiv her very tight legs apparently.
Anyways the ship were taken an got away from the area before any APTF could gets old o us.
Now I as ad me fun, I is getting more serious, it has come to my attention through the SSS etc that a group o pirates has been captured an tortured, well I be disgusted that the APTF be allowing such treatment wiv out a fair trial, likes I is oping to get should I ever get caught, followed by a 20 year sentence, but bein released after 10 for good behaviour etc as is customary these days.
Anyways, I as in my cells over 2000 crew type prisoners of Dewiek, Falconian, Felini, Flagritz, Naplian, Kastorian, and Human types. And at least 15 ships captains belonging to many affiliations. I will release details to those that be interested of their names if required.
In disgust but in realisation I be a pirate, from stardate 206.46.3, 1 captain and 134 prisoners will be executed daily until they have run out.
The executions will be in the form of a serious shaggin from as many pirates that wanna have a go, followed by releasing to demons. Giving these men the same fate as pirate brothers. I will of course be more humanitarian, and allow their safe return for 250000 stellars for the lot or as many as is alive at the time you decide to have them released. I have at least given you the option of having these persons returned. I cannot confirm nor deny that some o these prisoners may have serious sexual diseases and may need treatment aye………….
The executions will start mid next week……………………..
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
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