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Ahharrgghhh me hearties………………
It be aye………..
Pirate Large……………
Well I feels I is letting me victims down a bit by not publicisin me victories.
I as been out there trying to nick thee ships, but as asn the time to tell yee all bout it.
Anyways a brief run down of my pirate activity over the pas couple o weeks aye
FET 100 huller taken
A FET 100 huller was taken on stardate 206.12.3 after a shorts type o battle aye, it was a dragon name on board an it be 1 of many taken off what mus be 1 merchant arm o the FET. I is keen that this chap be in business as he be givin me is ships at knock down prices aye he be.
IND Ship taken in St Dismas
The IND ship revenge (99971) got a visit from Large him self and lost their ship to me in a few rounds o battle. I always loikes the IND vessels as they usually as differing species on board aye they do, an if differs me sex life a bit when I shuv me tool in any available ole likes. This ship as humans which I as plenty of back ome, but some kastorians got the ole one eyed snake down the gullet aye.
HLQ 75 huller taken in yank
A 75 light hulled ship was unlucky to be parked up in yank with a ful cargo o spy ships on board ready to deliver them to IMP space by the looks of it aye, before I comes along and shoves a blade frew the necks o the crewman on board. We as had some success recently against these poofs in the HLQ and I hopes to do more business wiv em in the near future.
Due to sensor ratios an the fact we ad to dispose of the several small scout ships we ad to chuck em out o the olds quick as it gives away me position.
DTR 150 Xlight huller taken
As reported in the SSS, me boys or should I say luckily for the DTR, me gals visited the Impossible Starlight (11501) in the London system. Wiv thigh boots donned, thongs loaded, and their vibrators ready, the combat starts.
The DTR gaves me gals a shock as we usually wear this type o clothin, but the DTR senate wears what they likes, an me gals soon got their slim legs wrapped round some o the crewman, after half an hour of a fannypoltous they gives up and the big ship be ours. It is understood the gals o the ship as killed all but the cappan in a 2 weeks sex frenzy as the vessel is reported to belong to a senior member o the APTF. Still it could a been worse for em aye, if I had tooks em, they would have had arseholes the size o melons.
FEL 75 huller taken in Audrey
The FEL ship The Court and Kitchen (95780) was taken on stardate 206.15.2 by me myself again visitin them for a short hack n slash. When I tolds me boys they be getting some pussy, they cleaned their teeth ready for the action, an action is what they gots, they been pickin hairs out o their teeth for a week now, but wive most o the crew of the FEL vessel livin, they got a taste o what us pirates can dish out.
No story this week, as the editor o the SSS as a great challenge in cutting bleeding great chunks out o me mail, so I is trying to gives him an easier life.
i is about to announce ransoms for cappans taken, i as plenty getting a good rogering at the minute, but they be gettin slack an i needs fresh meat. i will offer the cappans names an numbers shortly via the press.
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
MORE SHIPS TAKEN
Ahharrgghhh me hearties………………
It be aye………..
Pirate Large……………
Now I is still getting abouts an as the following stories to tell yee.
DTR Still Cant resist double penetration.
A convoy o DTR freight be spotted in the Yank system, cappan, me look out says, it be them scatily clad DTR boys again, an they looks likes they be ready for more. Well not to disappoint me an a supporting pirate ship made our way to boarding range.
The DTR 75 hulled ship Aruba (33741) was my prey an 44 men an women on board there be, not a match for thee, after a very short battle an after the women faint when I tooks out General 2 kernals, we tooks the ship. Whilst me associate wen after the Algonquin (56312) , who ad similar easy success. 2 more ships to me loot.
Now the DTR as been trying to put muscle on my sales chains, but the fence has got what the DTR don, they as balls an has stuck 2 fingers upto them.
Garrr well done.
IND 75 HH ship taken in Yank
Well I is busy in yank at the minute, an the Predator class heavy hulled ship Loved and Lost (52431) fell prey to me boys, an a officer on board there be, a 1 Cynthia Joy (#1) {IND Prisoner} - 1 mus who is now getting more attention than she be used to. Fresh meat be what we after, an a class bird annual, I will probably put her up for market in a month time when she be getting slack in the crack.
CNF 100 huller taken in Yank
The CNF Hungry Hippo (42851) be taken recently in the Yank system yet again, making the protected zone one of the hotbeds o pirates likes me. Although I did get a laser blast that singed the hairs on me left testicle, which was a bit of scare to me lady crew who thought they ad lost the best shags o their lives an were abouts to chuck them selves out o the air lock, I soon whipped out the giggle stick an they be happy when they gets some stuck up em. Well I as a bit o hull damage to patch up so yee wont see the actual large for a week or more, but be sure we be wathin for thee.
Another IND vessel taken, more details to follow
Cappan return scheme
The dead line be close an a few people as requested they get some peoples returned before I issue them the sword, then kill after I finishes the shaggin likes. It be their las dyin wish to as the pleasure then the pain.
If no one replies by Monday for the remaining cappans they will be killed 1 on a daily basis. Bodies will be fed the dogs, an their deaths broadcast to the governments that didn wanna pay for their own crews.
Well I knows you be missin me stories, an I as one to tell yee bout one o me long standing crew couples.
The pirate an his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to shag your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?"
He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."
Anyways im sure you will hear more from the glorious adventures of the pirate ship Large (and friends) ahharrggghhhh……….
Associates Story
This be a story from a pirate associate who wanted to tell yee is story.........
“Uh, how ghastly, a Krell freighter...’Coal Train’, not exactly an uplifting name for a ship is it?”
“A freighta' be a freighta' cappan'”
“Yes, one appreciates that, but Krell!...one did not sign-up for this job in order to go around shafting Krell. Where’s the joy in sodomising a captive only for them to go on about how they have been shafted harder by the Falconians?”
“Well, cappan'...tha's all very well but we ain't taken no bounty for some time. The lads 'as pent up aggression, and this be a prime target”
“Yes, yes…very true…but I mean look – it’s a bloody Caravel…and an ore freighter at that…and look, typical of the Krell they’ve been using the wrong shade when they’ve patched it up…just no appreciation of aesthetics”
“We could still sell it captain…..and with it being a Caravel makes it a bit easier to sell on see – ‘cos everyone ‘as access to them, so it don't stand out”
“Hmmm…yes”
“…and with that money cappan’, we could have aaargghhselves some good aaargghh ‘n aaarrgghh. That sort of money can get you access to the high class ladies…or ahem…boys…at the Jiggly Room”
“Yes…very well…prepare the crew…just remind the Naplians that gaffa tape is not required combat equipment”
Later that day
“Report please”
“We ‘as secured the ship, cappan’…9 human marines, and a KST officer captured”
“KST officer?...on a KRL ship?....that’s interesting, and its something the other prisoners are not Krell I guess…any casualties?
“Two grunts, sir…seems they’d had a bit too much grog before they charged in”
“I wish the lads would refrain from using that stuff before combat, it doesn’t mix well with their pre-combat nerves – I’ll have to get some more air fresheners …..and the cargo?”
“…err…metals sire…4800 of ‘em”
“Oh, how bloody wonderfull…I’m sure that’s going to draw a lot of interest….. I guess we’ve blown a Krell plot to feed the Falconians iron filings in their feed. Oh well, onwards we go….lets makes ourselves scarce, and tell the Coal Train crew to get to the rendezvous point
“yessir…err, one more thing cappan'...”
“Yes?”
“Those nine captured…they all be chaps”
“ooh bugger”
“…exactly sir”
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